If Bill Murray were to star in a sequel to Groundhog Day, he’d wake up to the Sonny and Cher alarm clock, take the cold shower, step in the puddle, parry the insurance agent, trudge to the gazebo…and see Chris Christie doing his same old song and dance.
Seriously, him again? Didn’t this guy – who ended his gubernatorial tenure with a 15 percent approval rating; who crashed and burned as a ’16 presidential candidate; who morphed from Trump foe to toadying manservant – contrive to write a spin memoir and launch a rehabilitation tour just two short years ago? Didn’t he hit the road with a media blitz in ’19, sort of praising Trump (“he has many of the qualities that define America’s leaders”) while sort of knocking Trump (it was a “tragedy” that he was so ill-served by his aides), in the hopes of grabbing a piece of the action?
Apparently it’s time to rinse and repeat. He has a new book about how Republicans should reboot themselves by flushing all the lying sewage of recent years and rediscovering the virtues of truth. Which is fine as far as it goes. Naturally he thinks of himself as the ’24 nominee who can lead the party back to sanity, and you can’t blame him for salivating at the prospect; that’s what political animals do. But because Christie is always trying to keep all his options open, he still can’t explain why in ’16 he endorsed the con artist most responsible for the lying sewage…nor, today, is he willing to rule out endorsing the selfsame con in ’24.
Christie still seems to think that Trump is capable of being a better person. If only Trump would stop obsessing about his re-election defeat, things would be just ducky. In Christie’s words the other day, “If he wants to be a positive force in the future, he’s got to let this other stuff go.” Right. And if dog poop tasted like ice cream, it would be on dessert menus.
Christie’s game is obvious. He’s trying to stuff himself through the eye of a needle, damning Trump with faint praise and praising Trump with faint damns in order to (theoretically) woo the Republicans who are discomfited by Trump’s fascist excesses – without quite alienating the MAGAts who still march in lockstep. I guess we should give him points for trying. But good grief, it sure gets embarrassing.
Take, for instance, what happened on MSNBC Tuesday when he ran into the buzzsaw best known as Nicolle Wallace – and tried in vain to fend her off with his trademark defensive aggression. As my dear departed mother would’ve said, “It was a scream!”
Christie’s new book laments about all the lies and disinformation that circulates in the media. But somehow, he just plumb forgot to mention the ceaseless contributions of Fox News. Wallace, the former Republican aide, decided to ask him about that:
“You take on the media. The book is about conspiracy and lies, but you don’t really take on Fox News. Why not?”
“Look, because the book – “
“Have you seen the Tucker Carlson program?”
“No, I don’t watch it.”
“You’re not aware of what he does?”
“Not really, I don’t pay a lot attention to it.”
“It’s a book with ‘Truth-Deniers and Conspiracy Theorists’ (subtitled) on the cover, and you attack CNN, The New York Times, and MSNBC – but not Fox News?”
“But – excuse me – I don’t attack them (CNN, NYT, MSNBC) as conspiracy theorists and truth deniers. I talk about bias.”
“Is bias more dangerous to the country than conspiracy theorists?”
“No…You’re conflating them.”
“I’m not conflating them. I don’t think it’s an intellectually honest case to make against conspiracy theorists without taking on Fox News.”
“Well, then listen, you can write that in your book.”
“I’m not the one trying to ‘rescue’ the Republican party.”
“I understand, but whoever, whenever you want to write your next book – “
“But if you want to run for president what’s your relationship with Fox News going to be?”
“Well, first of all, I didn’t say I wanted to run for president. You said that.”
“A lot of people have said that about you in the last few days, and you haven’t corrected anyone.”
“What I said is, I will certainly think about it but won’t make a decision for at least another year.”
“Do you think Fox News in prime time is good for the country or bad?”
“Listen, there are shows I like on Fox News and there are shows I don’t like…I don’t consider people like Sean Hannity or Laura Ingraham to be purveyors of conspiracy theories…I don’t know what Tucker does from night to night.”
“So you may or may not support Donald Trump in 2024, you may or may not run for president, and a book about liars and conspiracy theorists doesn’t have anything to say about Fox News.”
“No, the book – you’re conflating it.”
“If you want to solve the proliferation of conspiracy theorists without dealing with Fox News – it’s like solving terrorists, without dealing with the terrorists.”
“Well, look, that’s your opinion.”
Enough already. I doubt you need me to annotate. Suffice it to say that Christie’s dumbo act with respect to Tucker Carlson – who has the highest rated show on Fox News – is more than a tad disingenuous. And suffice it to say that he omitted Fox News from his book because as a perpetual Republican candidate he can ill afford to alienate fans of the infauxtainment network. His whole shtick is quite tiresome.
Only fans of The Sopranos will get this closing reference, but so be it: I wish Bobby Bacala would just go away and play with his trains.