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By Chris Satullo

I have something to propose. 

In all likelihood, you’ve been thinking something along the same lines, though your specific names and clever twists may vary. Even my older sibling, who usually leaves the political punditry to his kid brother, emailed me this week with his version.

We’re all, with various degrees of venom or regret, spinning desperate scenarios that spring from a shared sentiment: “Say, it ain’t so, Joe.”

Say it, Joseph Robinette Biden. Say that you’re not insisting on carrying the Preserve Democracy banner into the fray vs. the Megalomaniac of Mar-a-Lago. Say that you’re not willing to bet the future of the Republic on your dubious ability to rebound from drooping approval ratings and mounting ageist gibes. Admit that, as bizarre as it seems, you might not be able to whip the MAGA Man in November.

Granted, I think much of the anti-Joe chatter – from the fiercely woke young protestors, the glib professional talkers, the muddled moderates – is hyperbolic, unfair and frequently uninformed. Biden has been a damn good president; the big wins and steady progress on his watch far outweigh the inevitable mistakes of any presidency. And at Thursday’s State of the Union, Biden was feisty and focused on the right things, if sometimes fumbling. 

But just a few days before, as he chatted with Seth Myers on TV, I had to admit, as much as I was rooting for him, that the toll of age on his mannerisms and speech was unmistakable. 

It’s tough and unfair to be judged so harshly by people who are fixated on your age – but seem to know next to nothing about the post-pandemic recovery, the CHIPS Act, the shrinking misery index, or your deft diplomacy on Ukraine. Yet, sadly, these are the same folks whose votes Biden will need to stave off Trumpocalypse in November. So, just toting up delegates after Super Tuesday and rolling toward Election Day as if this were a normal re-election romp is not an option.

Millions who voted for Biden in 2020 now would like to see him step aside in favor of someone plucked from the pretty strong Democratic bench, someone with less baggage, less mileage, fewer wrinkles and gaffes, less of a hitch in their giddy-up.

I get that, but my proposal (a tweaking of my brother’s) is one that I hope might be fairer to Joe, while calming the dread most of us feel when contemplating the prospect of Biden-Harris vs. Trump-(Vance or Carlson or Lake or Gaetz) this fall.

So, what is it? Looking over my notes, it seems far-fetched, like the plot of one of those political novels I read in my youth, Advice and Consent or Seven Days in May, that kind of thing.

Then again, it’s no more far-fetched than Trump coming down the escalator, Trump kissing Putin’s posterior in Helsinki, Trump fomenting the attack on the Capitol, and worst of all, Trump sealing up his third nomination while getting adjudicated as a rapist, a fraud, a liar and an insurrectionist in courtroom after courtroom.

OK, so here it is, my multi-step grand plan to save America from itself:

—  Sonia Sotomayor, who’s nearing 70, retires as Supreme Court justice, rather than pulling an RBG and waiting until it’s too late, with the Republicans having regained control of the Senate.

—  Biden nominates his vice president, Kamala Harris, to take Sotomayor’s seat on the high court, and the Democratic Senate confirms her with a simple majority. Recall that Harris is an experienced lawyer who was both a district attorney and a state attorney general, not to mention a U.S. senator and veep. In other words, more qualified than much of the current court.  Bonus: She’s never attended a meeting of the Federalist Society.

— Biden then immediately announces his new running mate: Gretchen Whitmer, the smart, savvy, accomplished, tough-as-nails governor of Michigan.

— Biden furthermore issues a written pledge to the people of the United States. If elected, he will submit to a battery of cognitive tests every three months during his second term. If at any point, reviewing those test results, a panel of distinguished physicians concludes that he has experienced cognitive decline significant enough to impair his ability to perform his duties, he vows to resign the next day, with Whitmer succeeding him.

— Whitmer and Biden jointly announce whom Whitmer in that event would ask to be her vice president. Pete Buttigieg would be my choice, but the Democrats have a half-dozen potential names that are superior in experience, intellect, character and general law-abiding-ness than anyone likely to join a Trump ticket.

This set of moves should a) calm the chatter about Biden’s age by making it clear he’d step aside for a worthy replacement if that moment arose, b) demonstrate that the Democrats are a party richly blessed with serious people ready to govern while, by contrast, the Republican party is merely a cult for an unstable authoritarian, with only a clown car waiting behind him.

As with any bold scenario, questions and obstacles arise:  

Would Sotomayor resign? Yes, it’s a tough gig to give up. But consider: How could constantly fighting a losing battle vs. the likes of Alito and Thomas – a struggle which would only get lonelier if President Trump Redux got to appoint another justice – be more appetizing than a “retirement” filled with book deals, speaking gigs and think-tank fellowships?

Would Harris take the deal? Well, if she were quietly told that she was off the ticket in any event, the option of sliding into a lifetime, low-workload job with far more prestige and lasting power than the vice presidency would begin to look pretty good.

Would Whitmer join the ticket? As they say in the Upper Peninsula, you betcha.  Never in history would a new vice president take office with higher odds of becoming president.

Would Trump be defeated? Nothing is certain where that man is involved, but wouldn’t you feel a whole letter better about the chances of a Biden win under these circumstances than under the status quo of March 2024?

Would Biden really step down? Yes, because he’s a man of honor and because it would be on terms he set, having won the presidency and saved the Republic twice. He would know that history would honor him even more greatly for having done it.

Gratitude and perks for Sonia. A black robe for Kamala. A second term for Joe and a chance to make glittering and overdue history for a most worthy Gretchen.

Oh, if only this could happen.

But, back in the real world, with Super Tuesday and this – my last indulgence in wishcasting about 2024 – now complete, I have to affirm: Barring some remarkable turn of events, it’s going to be…Biden-Harris v. Trump-Cultist.

It’s going to be tedious; it’s going to be ugly; it’s going to be dispiriting. But we have to pay attention; we have to get involved; we have to be strong. And on Nov. 5 – no matter our qualms about age, about Gaza, about inflation, about whatever – we have to vote in the only way that helps preserve democracy and our Constitution. We have to vote for the candidate with the best chance to keep Trump out of the White House. We have to go with Joe.

Chris Satullo, a civic engagement consultant, is a former editorial page editor/columnist at The Philadelphia Inquirer, and a former vice president/news at WHYY public media in Philadelphia